You

Get out. Get out of my head. You're killing me, choking me, sucking the goddamned life out of me. You're wicked. You're not made for me. We shouldn't be here. You shouldn't go there. You should not do this. Not to me. Keep it to yourself, don't throw it all on me, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm looking at you, why are you looking away, why are you fidgeting? Why don't we just stop? Why can't we stop? Why are we here, what made all this happen? You know this. You know it. You.

Wind

The chilly breeze from the window blew the girl's hair around her face, making her shiver. It didn't seem cold, but compared to sleeping next to the radiator, it was like falling into a pool of ice cubes. Her cat eyed her lazily from its spot on top of the blankets. She put her book away and sat up in bed.
,,You know, I should be doing something right now.” she said. The cat tilted its head before it began licking its paw. She got up, wandered into the kitchen, putting on the coffee pot, forgetting about the open window.

Scream

I want to. You know I do. But it's a questionless matter, it's never going to happen. And that is another thing that you damn well know. You fucking know it all, you fucking KNOW. And I feel so helpless, because you now have the power to do whatever you want. All I can do, all I can do about it is absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. Because you're the strongest, the fastest, the most powerful. You will suck the life out of me. You know it. All I can do is scream, scream what you already know. You know.

Please

Don't. Please don't. Please go, please don't come back here, it's crushing me, wasting me away, pushing the last remains of me over the edge, and I feel so guilty. Because somehow I know that you know. And sometimes you look at me like that, and then I don't know it again. Please don't show me the truth, let me have this just for myself, it was never meant to be shared with anyone. Not even myself, please don't. Please don't let me. Please don't. Please. I'm begging you. Please. I'm hiding from the world behind a broken frame. Please.

Oh Darling

What the hell was going on? He was pacing up and down the floor, wondering when she would be coming home, but he knew she wouldn't. For some reason he was kind of upset. He knew why he left, he knew she was tired of hanging around, but damnit! He needed his own fucking freedom too! If she wouldn't live with that, then he could live without her. He'd obviously have to live with that, since she probably wasn't coming home. Oh well, better get used to it. He picked up the cat and considered what he now would do.

Nothing

”Don't go.”
”I have to, I can't let this happen.”
”Let this happen? It's happening, whether you want it or not. Don't play coy with me, I'm not any brand of cheap idiot.”
He sighed, lifted his head from his pillow and looked at her. It wasn't this easy, nothing ever was. It couldn't be as easy as one-two-three love me. He couldn't. She shouldn't, they shouldn't be here, they should not be this close and still so far apart. Nothing ever worked like this, nothing had ever worked out to his fortune this way.

Leaving You

She kept silent. No need to wake him up, didn't want to wake him up. If she could just get her clothes and keys she'd be out of -
"Where are you going?"
Oh. Shit.
"Water. I'm thirsty." Please believe me!
"Since when do you need to be fully dressed, keys in hand, to get some water?"
Awkward silence.
"Okay. Spill it. You were leaving."
"... Yes."
"Why?" And he did that reading-your-thoughts thing again that made it so hard to tell the truth. Piercing blue-gray eyes met equally piercing hazel eyes.
"I'm sorry." And then she left their apartment.

Kill Me

I don't feel all right. I can feel you, I can feel you people under my skin and in my veins, and I hate it. I hate not being able to breathe and not being able to control myself when you're here. You're human. You're here. Even though I know you wouldn't, then it feels like you're going to hurt me. It's hurting me to be here. I'm frightened. Get me out. Get me out. GET ME OUT! I can't help it, you have to get me out, I can't breathe, I can't feel, you're killing me, all of you!

Ihate.you

It all depends on what you're going to do. I can't help you, I can't even help myself, how would I come about getting you out of the mess you created for yourself? And there is no way, no way at all this makes any sense. Sense died yesterday, yesterday it all fell apart. You know it, we could fall apart any moment. But you seem to be my glue, the glue that keeps me from cracking. And at the same time, the mere sight of you tears me apart. Simple time won't keep you from me. I hate you.

I Wish

I'm crazy. I know it. I know you think I'm crazy, and you're not even wrong. I wish you were, though. I wish I wasn't crazy, I wish I could do all the things that you people do around each other. I wish I could be around other people like you can. I wish I could, but I can't. I'm scared. I'm scared of you. You scare me to death, for no other reason than being human, being there. I would be more comfortable if you were all gone. But you're alive. And I am scared. I'm scared of you.

Going Nowhere

She kept walking, kept going, no reason to stop whatsoever. There was no way in hell she was going back to that, no matter what he said or did. All those endless hours of doubt and wonder, all the screaming and yelling and forgiving each other had worn her out. She wasn't going back, never coming home, and he just had to fucking face it already, instead of flooding her life with apologies. Yeah, that's what she told herself. Never coming home, never coming home. Never going back. Going nowhere with no destination and noone to share her life with.

Get Out

He looked, stared at her. ”I am not letting you go.” She groaned at him, close to just bashing him upside the head. ”I said, I am NOT letting you go!” And upon that, she turned around, pacing the room.
“Just because you're the biggest one of us...”
“It's not about that.”
“Then what?”
“Kiss me.”
“Excuse me?”
“You're not getting out of here before you kiss me.” he said, a strange look gleaming in his eyes.
“Why are you so fucking hard to read?”
“Don't ask me. Ask yourself.”

But You've Gotta Let Me Know (Should I Stay Or Should I Go)

"I'm just here to get my stuff, that's all." she said. He looked disappointed.
"So we're not going to figure this out? You're just going to leave?"
"That is my plan, yes. Any objections?"
"I love you."
"Agree to disagree."
"Fuck you."
"You already did that. In more than one sense."
"I don't care. I want you to stay."
"Maybe you should have thought of that before you started staying with other girls through the night."
"Maybe we should talk about this."
"Maybe I don't want to."
"I think we have to."
"Well, I don't." With that, she left again.

apocalypseME

I am ending this. Now. Now or never, I have to end this. Declare the end a reality. A reality show, so obscene, so surreal. And maybe, maybe I should have done it a long time ago. When I could still be dancing on bliss, broken glass, and there would be nothing to do about it. Apocalypse me. Kill me, kill me, so I know that I am dead for sure, and not just sleeping on the words that you said. Proclaim the end, the end is near. Precisely the end, and this is the end. I am the end.

hello

hello to you and hello to me.
this is my blog. or, well, the new one anyway.
you see, the old one kind of died after I forgot the password, and I am way too lazy to beg blogger to give it back to me.
so here it is. I know a few of the entries are identical to the ones at minikaizer.blogspot.com. but they're mine, I can prove it.

bye. see you in a 100 words.